I've never been particularly busty, just carrying around some average grapefruits for most of my young life. But when I got pregnant, I woke up one day with a rude awakening when I found watermelons in my bra instead. I just could not get it right. So, I finally decided to just take the shortcut and get cancer so that I could get new *custom* boobs completely. Well, maybe that isn't exactly how it went, but po-tay-to, po-tah-to.
Fast forward to present day... it has been nearly two months now since my bilateral mastectomy and oophorectomy. I have been feeling great and once my recovery was underway, I started going in weekly to get my expanders filled. To recap for you, an expander is an empty and deflated implant. They were put in during my initial surgery and filled with 50 cc's of saline solution. From there, the plan was to go in weekly and have them inject an additional 50 cc's in each side to slowly begin stretching out my skin to allow for full reconstruction. So basically, what took me at least a solid decade to fully develop via puberty, I have now managed to surpass in 6 weeks.
Initially, I expected the worst when it came to the expansion process. I didn't imagine that even the sweetest lollipop would be able to coax me out from under the examination table to allow the nurse to stick needles into what were once my boobs and now stood to exist as pitiful little mounds of skin. But, I was wrong and thus, pleasantly surprised. I hadn't realized that my entire chest was numb and I wouldn't actually feel the needle being inserted. As the expansions went on, I would gradually begin to develop more sensation but it was never intolerable, it just made my chest feel tight and very full. I was handling it so well that I went from one visit per week up to two visits per week in order to speed the process up. In order to do so, that meant my last visit was going to be a double dose and instead of the normal 50 cc's, I would be receiving 100 cc's in each side. This was a lot to take in, literally, and I could see my bust increase right before my eyes. This was the most uncomfortable fill for a few days following as my skin stretched to fit the growth; but, it was also the most important fill because it meant... I was done. And, I was done fast.
One thing that I have been continually Blessed with throughout my cancer journey? Doctors that get me. Each of my doctors, and nurses for that matter, have seen me for who I am and believed in me. My plastic surgeon was no exception and he knew that I wanted to fly through this process and regain some normalcy in my life. I'm not joking when I say that I know that I'm going be okay. Its not a futile attempt at being a martyr, it is my only option. And, its working. In fact, my oncologist commented that she was impressed because she had never seen anyone go through the reconstruction process so quickly. Maybe my cancer had tried to get the best of me by outsmarting the Tamoxifen and progressing, but I evened the playing field with my first surgery and now I'm about to take back the lead by continuing to kick ass with reconstruction and rehabilitation. Ashley: 2, Cancer: 1.
So, now that my expanders have been filled to their max, I'm ready to move on to the second step in the reconstruction process and that is to have the expanders removed and replace them with implants. This is another surgery aaaaaand, it takes place... tomorrow! It will take less than two hours and as along as everything goes well, it should be an outpatient procedure and I will be back home, in my own bed tomorrow night. The recovery will be far easier than my first surgery; however, I will still be uncomfortable for a few days and have some restrictions on my physical activity... aka picking up my baby. Grrr.
But what's a little gain without a little pain? I'm gonna rock it tomorrow and come away with some sweet custom melons that make the whole produce aisle envious.
