Friday, July 26, 2013

Gutting the Girls

Well, SURPRISE! I'm back! I know, I know... I have left you all with fear that my blogging days are over. It's been so long that you probably thought The Big C slithered in and stole me away for good.

...Too soon? Ok, I will be fair and ease back into the cancer jokes slowly...

Luckily, there hasn't been too much to catch you up on. The last few months have been rendering pretty positive results. In fact, next up on the treatment docket is for me to make a decision regarding a clinical trial that I am eligible for.

The standard of care in Stage 4 Breast Cancer is to not perform surgery, the reason being that the disease is too far spread. My breast is not serving as the sole transmitter shamelessly shooting little cancer cells around my body like a Tommy Gun. Instead, they are now permitted to jump from my breast, or my bones, and claim any of my internal organs as the next victim. That's what makes it incurable, at this point, we just can't catch up. However, there is "someone" out there in the world that is questioning whether or not surgery could possibly make a difference, despite being Stage 4, and still add more years to my life. Hmm...more years. I'm 29, I could use a few more good years... please tell me more, oh-random-"someone."

The trial is being conducted at six places in the world. Lucky for me, TWO of those places are located right in the heart of Chicago at both Loyola and Northwestern University Medical Centers, respectively. It is a randomized surgical trial that includes either a lumpectomy or a mastectomy; but, I'm not one for technical terms so to explain better what that means...they either cut the "tumors" out or they cut the boobies off. Its that simple. A little slice, a little snip, perhaps a tuck, and I can be down two "tumors". But, as I mentioned before, the trial is randomized and that is where it gets tricky. You can't sign up with your heart set on extracting the cancer. Instead, your name is tossed into a lottery and a computer spits out your fate. If you are chosen for the surgery, then you will proceed in that direction. If you are not chosen for the surgery, then nothing happens and you remain on your current treatment plan. But, I think that is how God will tell me exactly which path is right for me. If I'm supposed to have it, I will be chosen; but, if I'm not meant to have it, then I won't be chosen and poof! Nothing changes.

For me, this whole idea has been exceptionally thought-provoking. Surgery is a big thing to undergo, but the idea of having at least a portion of the cancer being removed from my body...it makes me feel... I don't know...

Cleaner.

Safer.

More settled.

Because of this, I have set up appointments to meet with the breast surgeons at both the Chicago institutions in order to learn more. So far, I have learned that based on my age and the fact that I have two "tumors," I would have the mastectomy with the opportunity for immediate reconstruction. I also learned that less than 5-6% of women diagnosed with breast cancer are already Stage 4...and of that 5-6%, less than 1% are under 30. Those are some crazy odds... and I'm still struggling to figure out why my odds couldn't have swung in the opposite direction and won me the lottery or at least a raffle for a Discman or something...

I have another meeting and some more research to complete before I make my decision, but the cut off for the trial is that you cannot be beyond 8 months into treatment, and given that I am sneaking up on month 6...I need to decide. In my opinion, if gutting the girls offers me a CHANCE to live longer and be healthier, then it is something to consider. I'm young and otherwise healthy, so I have no doubt that I will heal from surgery very well. And let's be honest, at this point...I'm pretty sure I deserve an opportunity to get a nice new rack. Am I right, or am I right??

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