Monday, February 6, 2017

No BUTTS About It!

For the last couple of weeks, also known as the last 10 weekdays, I have been undergoing radiation at Carle. Don't be fearful, it is not my brain this time, it's actually on, well... my butt. As many of you know, I split my care between RUSH University Medical Center in Chicago and Carle Hospital in Champaign. I do this because I initially began my treatment at RUSH when I was living in the suburbs. I am really comfortable with the care that I receive there and when I moved back to Mahomet, to live with my parents, I wasn't ready to give up the doctors that had taken such good care of me for two years.

It also wasn't feasible for me to burn up the highway and travel back up north weekly for chemo, so I also established care locally at Carle. At first, it was simply a babysitting job, butt it quickly transformed into a family as I formed close relationships to my oncology nurses here. You share really intimate moments with these people and adding them, as well as my doctor to my care team, has been one of the best decisions that I could have ever made. This has been exceptionally helpful as of late, considering my onco at RUSH is currently on maternity leave and some decisions had to be made regarding leg pain that I was having.

In my last blog, I mentioned that I had changed my chemo regime. It originally consisted of three different drugs, butt was changed because of the rampant side effects. My doctor at Carle and I agreed to keep two of the chemos going though, one specifically for my brain and one that is a systemic agent (does the job for my whole body). I initially experienced little to no side effects and was happy to be back in the fast lane of life.

However, shortly after the switch, I began to experience some leg pain in my right leg. At first it was very tolerable, butt then the discomfort began to increase and it ended up becoming somewhat debilitating. My pain would jump from my ankle bone, to my heel, perhaps up to my calf or behind my knee, or it could be in my thigh, my butt, or even as high as my lower back. It could threaten any one of those places at any time and quickly climb the pain scale to a 9/10 of the worst pain that I have ever felt. My pain tolerance is pretty solid butt when that intense throbbing would set in, only on my right side, I could be down for the count.

My doctor ended up ordering an MRI. I thought I had been dealing with a different set of side effects. Butt, as it turns out, the MRI showed that there was a tumor in/on my sacrum that was resting on a bed of nerves of the right side of my body and that was causing the pain. The tumor was not new, it had always just been lumped together with the cancer being in 'my bones.' The fix was a recommendation of ten radiation treatments. Now, this isn't a bad thing because two good things are coming out of the radiation. 1. We are getting rid of a tumor by zapping it. 2. We are getting rid of my pain. So, as much as I know you're desperate to feel sorry for me, don't.

Ten sessions is a little taxing just because it requires me to visit Carle daily, butt, I have also had the opportunity to expand my circle and make some new nurse friends as well. Radiation does not hurt at all and with this current radiation, I finally get to give my brain a break and concentrate on zapping these pesky tumors elsewhere.

So now, I'm basically getting my butt radiated. That's what I found out from Google anyway. I mean, my doctor told me, butt, I needed a little more clarification. I knew the general location of my sacrum, butt until I pulled up some images I didn't realize where it was for sure. Its a triangular bone and I thought it sat at the base of your spine. The medical definition gets kind of involved butt, I guess if I were to explain it to someone, as I am now... it does actually appear at the base of your spine between your hips and rests on your anus. I don't really need any anatomy lessons, I get it enough to know that the sneaky little laser is shooting close to my derriere.

After I check in everyday, I go change my clothes. Since it is the lower half of my body being radiated, I can leave my shirt on but I have to remove the lower half of my clothing sans socks. I then put an untied hospital gown on backwards with a robe over the top to protect my intimate parts. After that, two great gals call me back and all bets are off. And so is the robe! In the first few days, you hold your gown closed tightly behind you as your scurry to the table butt as you near the end of the sessions you opt to make jokes about you butt hanging out and how it has so many dimples that it must have a huge smile and a happy disposition. At that point, all of the embarrassment is gone.

As of today, I have two sessions left. Another MRI will follow in a few weeks just to make sure that they got what they aimed for; butt, based on how I have been feeling, I think it is going to be a success. From here, I will return to chemo and await all of my spring scans. And when it comes down to it, I have nothing BUTT good things to say about this treatment.








Friday, February 3, 2017

Happy Anniversary

I have been anticipating writing this blog for a few weeks now. It is my first one of 2017 but it also marks the week of my 4th Anniversary cancer diagnosis. It serves as a resolution for me to resurrect my blog and even myself a bit, both of which had fallen by the wayside this past fall.

At times, getting to year 4 has been hard fought. I have battled through multiple invasive surgeries, a myriad of medications, radiation, chemotherapies, chased trials, and gone from long blonde beautiful hair to a regrowth of pubes. Early on, cancer had it’s ups and downs; but, for most of it, as I like to remember it, I swallowed a pill, and hoped for the best. That isn't really how it went, not at all, but in comparison to this fall... it felt like a cakewalk for me back then.  Even when I started chemo halfway through year two, I was still using Instagram to post selfies of my receiving chemo. Its hard not to over-indulge the selfies and pseudo artistic pictures of flower vases when you're tethered to a pole of poison for hours at a time. 

When this last 6-ish months swung around however, things were a little different. I was chasing trials locally and in Texas. I was also balancing a new and stronger regime of chemo that caused some horrible side effects. 

I still never had the typical nausea for days type symptoms. Instead, areas of my skin, like my elbows, would develop burns from the inside out and cause unimaginable pain. It was impossible to find the right bandage to adequately cover the wounds. Everything we tried (and we tried everything from the First-Aid aisle) seemed to fail. The proper bandages weren't proper at all because they couldn't cover the entire area, would stick to the area, or wouldn't let my arms bend. In addition to being near tears from my elbows, I would also suffer from mouth sores that resulted in a liquid diet of Ensure shakes and maybe an occasional Jell-o. Oh, and not to mention the fiery, red, and dry blistery hands. Up until this point, I have yet to really cry from anything regarding the C word, but the mixture of these separate messes evoked more than one breakdown.

I would still get up every single day though, because I knew someone, some little blonde miniature version of myself, was counting on me. And as I promised on that very first night when initially revealed my cancer in 2013, I was going to raise my daughter to be a strong woman and the only way to do that was to show her how. 

So, up and at ‘em.

As a result of these side effects, I found that I had lost some interest in my blog and a few social activities as well. I wanted to write but I didn't quite have the desire to put my "pen to paper" when I had smaller and cuter priorities to focus on.

It wasn't until November, that I decided I had enough. Stage 4 isn’t ‘technically’ curable, it’s about finding the quality in every day. So I spoke up and requested a change. Luckily, my doctors were receptive and willing to adjust my regime that included 3 separate chemo therapies, and just like that? All those nasty things disappeared. There is something to be said for that, and its not lost on me. A healthier approach to my curing (I don't care what the doctor's say, I'm still over here curing this shit) Cancer is always being researched and sought out.

So, save me a seat at Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And Anniversary 5.